Stoppit and eat love hearts

Earlier today a colleague of mine misheard another talking about Queens Park Rangers - he heard 'Queens Power Rangers'. How awesome would that be if the queen really did have Power Rangers?! "Don't touch the cucumber sandwich, ma'am, the evil Princess Michael of Kent is still at large and contaminating canapés across Westminster. We can't be too careful about this."

That's all well and good, but for a start they would have to be a lot more careful than the original Power Rangers as, from what I remember as a kid, they smashed up cities in the process of getting the baddies without so much as a by your leave. You'd never see that kind of crap on an episode of Stoppit and Tidyup. I think the exit credits should have shown the rangers with big bin liners and a giant rubbish grabbers cleaning up the debris to set a good example to children. Boy George got community service just for wasting police time - what would have happened if he'd smashed up a city like the Power Rangers? It doesn't bear thinking about.

***
In other news, I am baking cup cakes for a friend's hen do tomorrow, which I am quite excited about.
People seem to have ignored my other idea of wearing chicken hats all day so that we are all proper hens. I genuinely can't understand it - just look how happy this guy looks! So for the cupcakes I'm going to put love hearts on top of each one, but I can't help but notice two key things about love hearts:

1. Some of them are nothing to do with love ('Email' - that's a verb or a noun, not an expression of love.)
2. Some of them are nothing to do with the 21st Century ('Fax me' - seriously?!)

So I think I may write to Swizzels-Matlow with my suggestions for more up to date and realistic things to put on love hearts...

1. Swap "I'm shy" for "It's not you, it's me"
2. Swap "Good pals" for "Commitment-phobe"
3. Swap "Call me" for "Flirt-divert"
4. Swap "You're gorgeous" for "Beer goggles"
5. Swap "All yours" for "Clingy"
6. Swap "Email me" for "Three day rule"
7. Swap "Dream boy" for "Mummy's boy"
8. Swap "It's love" with "It's a girl"
9. Swap "Will you" with "No"
10. Swap "Wicked" with "Illegal in some states of America"

OK maybe not the last one...

Happy Friday everyone. x