Hey, have you got money that you just don't need for anything else like food or rent or paying heating bills? Do you want to invest in something that will instantly lose money as soon as you have bought it?
Then buy a car!
Guess what - once you've bought it you have to then pay twice as much as the car's worth to insurance in case of fire, theft, swarms of upholstry-loving locusts or just in case god decides he doesn't really like you anymore.
And for those of you who totally hate having money, you can tax it too so that the roads that you drive it on can be maintained in the appalling, patchwork state you're accustomed to.
For the money I have paid for my car I expect the streets to be gilded and lined with truffles and my insurance company to offer me a foot massage twice a month.
AM I BEING UNREASONABLE!?
Please do not answer that.
