Why is it raining today? Can I just remind Britain that it is meant to be summer right now. Only ducks, gardeners and weirdos like the rain. The only redeeming feature of rain is that it is a natural scourge to pigeons.
I consider myself an animal lover, but pigeons are a notable exception, and this is why:
1. They appear to have no reasonable place in any food chain. Because they are mangy crapsacks with wings, not even a scavenging fox would touch a pigeon, so they are not low in the food chain. Even so, they might be at the top of a chain, controlling the population of creatures lower down, but they're not. Pigeons eat crumbs, baguette ends, and street sick. Unless there's some killer baguette plague that scours the UK, I doubt that we can say that pigeons are keeping these natural dough-based predators at bay.
2. Despite the fact that QI said that they have good eyesight, I fail to see how this is true, as at least one seems to try to fly into my head on a daily basis.
3. Have you seen their feet?
I rest my case, your Honour.
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